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No.

fumiko

FF: I'm supposed to be working, but I don't feel like doing anything, so I've made my way so far through my list of procrastination techniques that I've ended up here.
The person above me has exactly 2^8 + 200 posts right now.
No, sorry.

Darcey.

FF: Happy Valentine's Day!
The person above me is lying.
The person above me is me.
No, it's me. I guess alasse.

FF: Why won't it die?!
SSBkb24ndCBrbm93IGlmIHRoZSBwZXJzb24gYWJvdmUgbWUgY2FuIHJlYWQgdGhpcy4=
You didn't bring alasse, you brought me :) I guess fumiko.

FF: It's Friday!
Yes.

fumiko

FF: Yes, indeed, hot glue is hot. A friend of mine once tested this on his finger.
No.

fumiko

FF: I have a scar on my forehead. And one on my arm. Neither of which are particularly noticeable.
No.

fumiko

FF: I was about to go to bed, an hour ago. Nothing in particular happened, but I'm still not there yet.
Yes :)

fumiko.

FF: http://tvtropes.org/ will ruin your life.
No!

fumiko!

FF: How can I simultaneously be bored of wasting time on the internet and too interested in it to go to sleep? :/
Wrong; it's me again.

fumiko?

FF: First post of 2010!
No.

fumiko

FF: Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. Which might make today New Year's Eve Eve, or New Year's (Eve^2). Similarly, today is New Year's (Eve^367).
Indeed, the spelling is just Darcey being eccentric.

And, Darcey reading this is pretty unlikely at the moment. She hasn't been around for over a year.
Mmmm... bread...

Actually I've had enough bread (and other food) today. Thus I won't be trying to eat the person above me, although I'm sure she's extremely delicious bread.
Yes :) fumiko

FF: Indeed; merry christmas everyone!
w00t, I'm reviving a 2-year-old Christmas thread! Merry Christmas Decorum!
alasse

FF: Happy birthday rtemp!
alasse

FF: You forgot your FF.
The person above me is on top of me! In a completely non-sexual way.
yes :) Keith

FF: For a moment there I thought you meant you imagined he wanted pictures of my weird relationship. But I'm guessing you actually meant the gingerbread train.
The person above me is probably a human trapped in a human's body.
alasse?

FF: Yeah, it is a weird relationship.
no, fumiko

FF: I'm the creator and admin of a fan group for one of my friends. Because I love her in a slightly creepy way.
fumiko.

FF: Yes, but that's actually a group, not a fan page.
Sorry.

fumiko.

FF: Today I edited my Facebook profile and removed myself from all the pointless fan pages. Now I'm only a fan of Fuzzy, the Quantum-Mechanical Duck.
Muhahaha, it's me!

I guess fumiko.

FF: all my small USB devices (flash drives, bluetooth adapter) have sticky tape wrapped around them because I tend to disassemble them for no reason and they tend to not stick back together.
Radiohead
Correct! I guess alasse.

FF: Today I made an omegle bot that starts two conversations at once and connects them so I can watch random people talk to each other. (Yes, I realise this idea isn't original, but it's fun.)
Nirvana
fumiko

FF: I ate part of a lemon and it wasn't worthwhile.
Sorry; fumiko.

FF: I feel like I have something very important to do, but either I actually don't or I've completely forgotten and am thus screwed.
Yes.

Guess: Keith.

FF: I read "jubilation" as "jibulation". As in, "I AM JIB! BEHOLD THE JIBULATION" or something.
Yes, it's me.

I guess Keith.

FF: Yesterday I tried to upgrade Ubuntu and it somehow completely broke, so now I'm running Arch Linux. It's cool.
The person above me is probably not.
Wrong. :) I guess Keith.

FF: Wow, it's still not dead.
The person above me is above the person above me.
No. Keith next.

FF: pwned :p
Let's kidnap Darcey and drag her here to post stuff and make the forum alive again.
No.

I guess Aran.

FF: I'll be offline for a week or so. (Just informing you in case anyone was considering guessing me)
The person above me just lost the game. (Sorry...)
That's what the person above me said.
Sorry, wrong.
Based on stealing fumiko's guess, I guess Keith

FF: Look at me! I can pass a Turing test!
No.

I guess Keith.

FF: I have a programming exam tomorrow. (Also not actually fun, but still a fact.)
Yes, it's me! I guess Keith.

FF: alasse's "Facepsalm" was a reference to my previous comment in which I said I know a guy who knows a guy who bought a book of psalms so he could put it on his face and say "facepsalm" instead of "facepalm"
No.

fumiko

FF: No one's more goth than Morgoth.
No.

fumiko

FF: I know a guy who knows a guy who bought a book of psalms so he could put it on his face and say "facepsalm" instead of "facepalm"
Yes :)

Keith next

FF: I just lost The Game.
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